My internet is picking up again, so I hereby vow to work on this giant backlog of 50 messages that need answering. In the mean time, here's a meme I stole a while ago from I think. Not sure. It was fun though. Another meme, another chance to force my abberant opinions onto you.

A
- Available: No.

- Age: 22

- Annoyance: I have it, and I cause it too. Who doesn’t?

- Allergic: No.

- Animal: Rabbit.

- Actor: Clint Eastwood.

B
- Beer: ‘Konink’ and ‘Lindenberg’.

- Birthday/Birthplace: 19 November/Rotterdam

- Best Friends: Only happen to other people, unless I can be my own best friend?

- Body Part on opposite sex: P… Oh, you mean what is actually attractive about the opposite sex? Shoulder blades.

- Best feeling in the world: Accomplishment, in every possible, weird, irrelevant way.

- Blind or Deaf: Deaf. I would miss music, but at least I would be able to continue in my line of work and studies.

- Best weather: Dry, without wind. I don’t care about the temperature.

- Been in Love: Possibly, but I have never seen a reliable definition of it, so I don’t know for sure.

- Been bitched out: Meaning what exactly?

- Been on stage: Unfortunately.

- Believe in yourself: Yes. Not believing in oneself is what philosophers do.

- Believe in life on other planets: Statistically, yes. Otherwise, no.

- Believe in miracles: No, I believe in insane associations the brain can make between two totally unrelated events.

- Believe in Magic: No, I believe in abusing the limits of neuronal networks.

- Believe in God: No, I believe in a group cohesion mechanism (read: religion) that has been selected for over the course of human evolution, because groups that believe in a common idea are better at warfare than groups without a common idea.

- Believe in Satan: = religion = group cohesion mechanism.

- Believe in Santa: As a commercial success, yes. As a blatant insult towards St. Nicholas, yes.

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: As representations of hyperactivity of certain higher brain functions, yes.

- Believe in Evolution: I am a B.Sc. in Biology on the way to become a M.Sc. in Neurobiology, so I think you can guess the answer.

C
- Car: I don’t have one, if that’s what you mean.

- Candy: Is a horrible name for a girl. Even more so for a boy.

- Colour: Is relative, and quite an unimpressive function compared to the amazing stuff the visual cortex can do.

- Cried in school: Yeah, lots, but no one ever saw or heard it.

- Chocolate/Vanilla: A combination of the two sounds like an ideal compromise.

- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese.

- Cake or pie: Cake, at the moment. Ask again later and it could be pie.

- Countries to visit: None. I haven’t the resources currently. Come back later.

D
- Day or Night: Day. Humans don’t see in the dark, ergo we are not nocturnal creatures, despite of what internet and the 24-hour economy is trying to tell us.

- Dream vehicle: Nissan Micra. A dark green one, preferably.

- Danced: Never.

- Dance in the rain: I prefer not to expose myself to possible lung diseases.

- Dance in the middle of the street: Are you mad?

- Do the splits: The what?

E
- Eggs: Boiled, not fried.

- Eyes: Two of them, although my boyfriend once had a nightmare in which I had two more in the back of my head. Yeah, as if I need that to be able to see through everything he does.

- Everyone has: Eyes? Yes, quite. Although, I can imagine that there are people without, actually. This is somewhat of a silly statement, then.

- Ever failed a class: No. I preferred not to stay in high school a second longer than absolutely necessary for obtaining the highest degree.

F
- First crush: My current boyfriend.

- Full name: Whose? Mine? It’s too classy for this meme. I’m serious.

- First thoughts waking up: “Why?” and “Goddammit, why?” and “On with it, then.”

- Food: Is a necessary resource to ensure survival.

G
- Greatest Fear: The idea that I will live longer than my mother and that there will be a time that she won’t be there anymore.

- Giver or taker: Both. As should we all be. It’s the only stable state. No matter how much of an egoist you are, there are always other egoists bringing your gain back to zero.

- Goals: Are for soccer. I don’t do your regular ambitious future goals anymore. Neither do I play soccer, by the way. That’s for soccer players.

- Gum: What about it?

- Get along with your parents: Yes, perfectly.

- Good luck charms: Oh? Where?


H
- Hair Colour: A mix of blond and dark blond, resulting in something brownish with a golden hue in broad daylight. People say it’s brown, but if you look at it under your regular light microscope, it really is blond.

- Height: 6 feet and 1 inch, also known as approximately 183 centimeters.

- Happy: No. Well, yes. I am happy not being happy. I’m neutral really. I have no complaints. I have a lot of things to be happy about and less things to be unhappy about. I’m not really affected by the whole thing, though. I know joy, and it makes me joyful, but not happy. Here we see the core problem of language. There’s too many interpretations of ‘happy’. Please to define this more accurately in your next questionnaire.

- Holidays: Never.

- How do you want to die: Preferably not right now. Without pain, but with consciousness, please, it could be interesting.

- Health freak: Absolutely not. I’m a biologist. I have the right to defy health, being one of the few who actually knows how it works and what its real limits are.

- Hate: Too many things to name. Really, you don’t want to get me started. Mentally, I’m a ninety-year-old cranky, nagging, horrible witch.

I
(In guys/girls)

- Eye colour: I would have said brown if I was still 16. Now I think blue-grey is positively smashing.

- Hair Colour: Again, I would have said brown when I was 16. Now I say blond, for the sake of my boyfriend’s ego. I still prefer brown, though, especially if it’s really long and slightly curly.

- Height: Everything above 6 feet (181 centimeters), preferably above 190 centimeters, but that is awfully rare here, even though the statistics say it should be common. The only tall guys I know are related to me.

- Clothing Style: Casual, preferably not trendy and not flashy. Jeans and a black or a grey or a blue shirt.

- Characteristics: Common sense. Efficiency. My boyfriend lacks that, but then again, what man does have common sense and a practical mindset? That’s right. Only the men that are made up by women and are featured in those icky, melodramatic and pornographic novels.

- Ice Cream: Is cold and bad for your teeth, among others. My favourite flavour is exclusive to the Netherlands and cannot be translated to English. It’s ‘stroopwafel’, if you’re interested.

- Instrument: Clarinet. As in, I’m able to play the Clarinet, assuming that that’s what’s meant by this. I don’t much appreciate its sound though.

J
- Jewelry: Is always unnecessary, but sometimes it’s okay as long as it’s silver and simple.

- Job: Is a disgusting word.

K
- Kids: Are annoying and horrible and you can’t even blame them because it’s biology’s fault that their brains are underdeveloped at birth and mature so slowly. They are stupid and inconsiderate and completely unable to function as they can’t relate actions to consequences. How could anyone call that cute? It’s downright irritating.

- Kickboxing or karate: Jean-Claude does both, doesn’t he?

- Keep a journal: No, unless you’d count dA’s Journal function.

L
- Longest Car Ride: 6 hours.

- Love: Is induced by oxytocin.

- Letter: Pi.

- Laughed so hard you cried: At least once a month, sometimes about things that aren’t even very funny.

- Love at first sight: I used to want to believe in that when I was 12. I couldn’t care less now, but I suppose it’s possible.

M
- Milk flavour: Milk has a flavour other than milk? Well, I prefer cow’s milk, if that’s what you mean. I don’t like milk from other animals, but I would hardly call those flavours. It’s all lactose anyway.

- Movie: Gran Torino. For a Few Dollars More. Unforgiven. The Road to Eldorado. Hot Fuzz.

- Mooned anyone: My dictionary doesn’t recognize ‘to moon’ as being a verb, I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

- Marriage: Is a waste of time for most people, considering they will get divorced anyway. Also, I’m not very keen on the idea. I’m not romantic, and these days you don’t have to be married to get the financial benefits of living together, so what’s the point?

- Motion sickness: Is awesome, neurologically speaking. I don’t have it, by the way.

- McD's or BK: Both. Burger King tends to have higher quality meat and vegetables on its burgers, but McDonalds has the McKroket. At least, the Dutch McDonalds have. And it’s their best invention ever. In any case, I prefer chicken, so why isn’t KFC mentioned here?

N
- Number of Siblings: 0

- Number of Piercings: 0

- Number: Favourite? 3

O
- Overused Phrases: Quoting Zach Stevens in ‘Not What You See’; “I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t understand” and quoting Duke Nukem; “Eat shit and die” (the ultimate answer to everything).

- One wish: No.

- One phobia: I fear spiders, but I don’t fear them enough to call it a phobia. I don’t suffer any mental illnesses like that, as far as I know.

P
- Place you'd like to live: Home.

- Pepsi/Coke: Again, both. Why choose? And why choose between two evils when there is Dr. Pepper?

Q
- Quail: I prefer chicken. No really, I don’t understand the question.

- Questionnaires: Who doesn’t love to talk about themselves and evaluate themselves? Well, I suppose that there are some prestigious bastards out there who know a better way to stroke their ego, but I don’t.

R
- Reason to cry: Insecurity, helplessness, injustice.

- Reality T.V.: Never. Go away, heathen.

- Radio Station: ‘Arrow Classic Rock’ unfortunately doesn’t exist anymore, so ‘Veronica’s 80’s and 90’s hits’ it is these days.

- Roll your tongue in a circle: Yes, both ways. I can roll it backwards, as well as into a pancake that sticks out.

S
- Song: “No son of mine” by Genesis. It makes me cry every time I listen to it, as my father once said I wasn’t his daughter anymore. The insecurity evident in the lyrics hits incredibly close to home.

- Shoe size: Depending on what sort of shoe and which country it’s fabricated in, 40-43. 40 would be for regular shoes. 43 would be for sneakers.

- Sushi: No thanks. I mean it, get it away.

- Skipped school: No.

- Slept outside: During fieldwork. I’d rather not do it again.

- Seen a dead body: Dead animals along the roads. Brown smears on the wall where I happened to have met a bug or a spider.

- Smoked: Once. Didn’t see the big deal, and since then I’m a fervent anti-smoker.

- Skinny dipped: No.

- Shower daily: Yes, and sometimes twice a day.

- Sing well: No.

- In the shower: No. If I don’t sing normally, why would I want to sing in the shower when the sound gets amplified. This may come as a surprise, but amplification does not always bring about higher quality.

- Swear?: You mean, “Do I swear that I don’t sing in the shower” or “Do you use swear words”? If you mean the latter one, of course, but usually not out loud. I don’t prefer to make sounds. If I made any sounds when playing as a child, my father would throw a fit and yell at me of disturbing him during his work. I’ve been classically conditioned to not speak up.

- Stuffed Animals: I have too much of them, and I feel bad for them when I put them away in a box. And I hate to see other people treat their own stuffed animals badly. I was horrified when my boyfriend told me that he had given away his stuffed animals to be distributed among the poor in Africa. Those poor things must feel so homesick! I mean the stuffed animals of course, not the African children. And seriously, how is a slum a better place for a stuffed animal than a nice warm bed? Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong, but I won’t change this opinion. You can’t call me heartless, given as how I even sympathize with lifeless creatures.

- Single/Group dates: How about no dates at all, in whatever form.

- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both are nice, but at least strawberries don’t leave your tongue and lips with an eerie zombie-like blue-black colour.

- Scientists need to invent: A cure for puberty. I hate seeing younger people make the same mistakes I made, despite my warnings. And I hate it even more when they appear to be slow to learn from their own mistakes. And it makes me furious when they think they have the right to be arrogant. Only grown-ups have the right to be arrogant, and even then it’s questionable. Kids these days. *sigh*

T
- Time for bed: 23:00 on workdays.

- Thunderstorms: A nice natural phenomenon, but not terribly interesting.

- Touch your tongue to your nose: No, I can’t, regretfully.

U
- Unpredictable: No, I guess I’m not.

- Under the influence: Of what?

- Understanding: Oh, I am understanding, but I prefer to make people think I am a close-minded asshole that can’t be bothered. Makes life all that much easier.

V
- Vegetable you hate: Sauerkraut and kale.

- Vegetable you love: Broccoli and bean sprouts.

- Vacation spot: Home.

W
- Weakness: Lots of things. My personality is flawed in so many epic ways that I sometimes wonder how I can live with myself. Hypocrisy does the trick, however.

- When you grow up: I am grown up, and I hardly care what the future brings anymore. I’m too old to believe that life is going to get better with age. It doesn’t. You gain so many abilities and possibilities, but you will never be able to use them as you get less time and more responsibilities every second. I’m looking forward to my retirement, and hope to be able to be healthy enough to enjoy it, by then.

- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: The problem with my type of people is that they don’t get along with each other. I have only very understanding, patient, kind and spontaneous friends who are not at all like me.

- Who makes you laugh the most: I seriously don’t know. It depends.

- Worst feeling: Shame.

- Wanted to be a model: Who doesn’t? If I could, I would. However, I have been too tall to become a model since I was 14, considering models may not be taller than 1,80 meters. I have also been too heavy to become one since I was 12 as my weight has always been normal.

- Where do we go when we die: Nowhere. You can’t ‘go’ anywhere when you’re dead, that’s sort of the whole idea behind the matter.

- Worst weather: Anything with a lot of wind. I don’t care about rain or sunlight or temperature, as long as the wind isn’t too strong. It’s wind that makes water dangerous. And it’s wind that messes up your hair worse than water.

- Walk with a book on your head: I had to do that every now and then as a child, in order to keep my back straight when walking and sitting. Back problems run in the family, so my parents thought it would be a good idea to try and prevent that. Didn’t work though.

X
- X-Rays: Quite fascinating. I’m bombarded with them at the dentist regularly, for photo’s of my jaw, for the archive (read: for making money, as there has never been anything wrong with my teeth).

Y
-Year it is now: Depends on when you start counting. Earth years? Current estimate 4.6 billion, give or take a few.

-Yellow: Is one of my least favourite colours. I don’t like gold either. It’s too warm and bright. Give me calming grey and silver instead.

Z
- Zoo animal: Other people. There’s always other people in front of zoo animals, or in the reflections in the glass through which your trying to observe a zoo animal.